RC arrives at Starr King

When I first encountered Dominic Barter and learned of the "Restorative Systems" he had established in Brazil, I felt wowwed, humbled and hopeful. I was struck by the transformative power of "Restorative Circles." These do so much more than help a few individuals feel better. They introduce communities to a different way of engaging in conflict.

It's my sense that many of our congregations suffer for generations from ghosts of conflicts past. If congregations had a healthier and more productive way to engage in conflict, this would have profound effects. In hopes of spreading the word,I shared with our district executive and others a prediction that the RC process to engage conflict was bound to find its way into use in Unitarian Universalist Congregations.

The process is so perfectly aligned with UU values, priniciples and purposes,that I couldn't help but imagine that there would be UU congregations interested. It is built upon the awareness of interdependence and the inherent worth and dignity of every person. It is a process where people get community support and participation in order to engage conflict and seek restoration. The system promotes both compassion and responsibility. It's not just about being heard or emotional catharsis. It attempts to facilitate shared meaning and self responsibility. It ends when restoration plans have completed to everyone's satisfaction.

The process reveals interdependence, the effects we have on one another, and the ties between us. It operates on the assumption that "conflict is owned by the community." It promotes awareness that each of us does matter.

Despite my confident proclamation, inside I held doubts. My encounters of RC had been spiritually overwhelming, "road to Damascus experiences." I feared that my vision would disappear in the light of the real world. I doubted myself, wondering if I could trust my experiences or should I discount them as an emotional high?

Was my proclamation that Restorative Systems would be established in our congregations, something visionary, or simply a trick of my ego? Was I simply wanting attention for having found something meaningful to me? Did I dare to move forward announcing the good news of something beautiful emerging in our congregations?

At the recent training in Atlanta, Becky, one of Dom's associates informed me that an RC practice was beginning at Thomas Starr King, UU seminary. I felt relieved and excited. I felt excited because I imagined Starr King as the perfect place for RC to land. How quickly this process had landed in such a key place. Oh, how I love to be right.

I also felt relieved to realize that it wasn't "up to me" to bring about the event I predicted. It wasn't up to me to see that this treasure came to our movement. Surely this was sufficient validation that I could trust my intuition, enjoy my participation and attempt to contribute to our advancement.

So here I am taking action on my sense of the importance of this work. I invite you to explore "RC" too. IF you have information about the spread of Restorative Circles into the UU world, please let us know. I welcome your companionship and support as we see if/how this process can support us in our mission(s). Let's hear your thoughts and experience engaging conflict with RC, and/or sharing this practice witho the worlds that matter most to us.