Thursday, April 10, 2014

Kathleen's Ted Talk

I like this Ted Talk by Kathleen Macferran sharing the work of the Freedom Project bringing "Nonviolent Communication" and "Restorative Circles" into prisons. I'm fortunate to have had the opportunity to "go in" to prison with Kathleen on numerous occasions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nO20TBCU51c "Nonviolent Communication" workshops in prison are transformative, not only for the prisoners but for those of us who go in to offer these programs. Last year, I had the opportunity to go into prison several times a week. This year I'm back in parish ministry. I love and value the work of parish ministry. It's an honor to accompany people on what I call "the sacred journey" (to faith, consciousness, awakening etc). However nothing I've known here touches the depth of encounters I experienced in prison! What I witnessed in prison; the quality of work, learning and sharing cracked my heart open again and again. As a result I have more access to what's in there, and can share it with the world. I was regularly deeply inspired by the great hunger for learning that so many men and women demonstrated. Their vulnerability, their willingness to hear and be influenced by their peers, their willingness to "get honest" amazed me. With nearly 25 years of substance abuse recovery, I'm no newcomer to deep work. I have heard people "in the rooms" "talk the talk" and seen them "walk the walk." We use the phrase "getting honest" to acknowledge that insight and spiritual growth comes step by step. It takes discovering blind spots, acquired habits/ defense mechanisms. It takes trying new behaviors, making mistakes and learning gradually. As George Harrison said "and you know it don't come easy." I met people in prison who were willing to do that work, willing to talk about what they did on the outside and more importantly what was going on in the inside .. inside themselves. I long for companions who share deep appreciation of "the sacred journey," of this kind of learning. I long for people eager to join me in living this way, in willingness to use tools from NVC and/or other resources in order to discover our blind spots, our places of intolerance, our reactive habits, learning why we've held them in place. I want companions willing to learn how to cultivate compassion, speak up for people's needs, decline the seductive temptation to blame others or ourselves, and increasingly be able to take responsibility. Kathleen Macferran has been a mentor and a close companion. Her love of this "work" has inspired my own! I'd love to hear your responses to her Ted talk!