5/25/17. celebrating 28 years alcohol/drug free. This anniversary is far more important to me than my birthday.
Thirty years
ago, 7 years past swearing off toxins, I learned the Buddhist precept of "No Intoxicants." It fit,
and the course continued. About the same time, I began
studying "Re-evaluation Counseling." To be RC teachers we were asked to give up drugs and set your intention to heal all
addictions.
Two+ years later, having been turned down for UU ministry, I sought help and found 12 steps. That path has led to treasure upon
treasure. Through
all of the courses of study (Option, ACIM, NVC, RC...) there has been a
theme of coming into consciousness. It's not about being
"good." It's about being; discovering what is, extricating
oneself from conditioning, trauma, fog and illusion. "It's not about perfection. It's about willingness to grow along spiritual lines." (AA) ..And yes steps
forward have often been followed by several steps back. It's not always linear. Faith fuels and enables me to live in grace able to
affirm that G*d has me in the right place at the right time no matter
how it seems to me. At times it does seem otherwise to me. Then I discover another layer of distress operating: another illusion and
limiting belief to break through.
Addictions
are a part of the human condition, not a disease that plagues a small
minority. Small minority?! See much
insanity about you? Witness people repeating unintelligent behavior
over and over? People become addicted to their coping and defense mechanism. We become addicted to the chemistry inside
our brains, addicted to doing things that keep us from feeling the pain that we re carrying inside of us.
The
conditioning and social enforcement of turning away is ubiquitous and strong. Try this! Take this! Eat this! Do this! Buy this! Oddly,
so many wisdom traditions teach the same thing: Turn not away. Turn
toward the pain with curiosity and compassion. Then get ready for the
miracles and gifts of awakening that will ... eventually come. Warning: it's often a wild ride getting there.
I have learned to celebrate the whole journey. The forgetting and
backsliding are part of the journey. From such an early age, I claimed "facing" as important to me, and I've spent most of my time forgetting. That only makes it that more amazing, awesome and
wonderful to be celebrating 28+ years alcohol and drug free.
The most important part: It's a WE thing. I couldn't do
this alone. I crave (ha!) and cherish companionship and support on this
journey. Thank you for sharing this journey with me! Thank you
friends who practice your addictions in front of me. Thank you friends working recovery and wellness programs.
You help me escape addiction and grow in consciousness of
the mind blowing unfolding of existence.
Rock on? Yes please!
